Hereafter and Returning
by SlayrGrl
Summary: After Chosen Spike is sent to a place where it will be decided where he will spend the rest of eternity, can he prove that he’s made a difference or will the blood on his hands still stain? Or can he cheat the system and get Buffy in the end? FINISHED
1. One Death

**Title: **"Hereafter and Returning"

**Timeline: **Post7.22 Chosen

**Summary:** After the closing of the Hellmouth Spike is dead, now he is sent to a place where it will be decided where he will spend the rest of eternity, can he prove that he's made a difference or will the blood on his hands still stain? Or can he cheat the system and get Buffy in the end?

**Disclaimer: **All characters, except those created by the author,belong to the creator and writers of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' no copyright infringement intended. This story was created for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating: **PG

**Parings:** B/S

**AN: I've read a few other stories similar to this one, but I promise you that mine is very different, actually I got alot of my inspiration from watching Beatle Juice, you may see a similarity or two, but I've taken my own twist on everything. Also, this is a very Spike-centric fic, but I promise a spuffy ending.  
**

**Chapter: One Death **

-The Hellmouth-

Burning, the fire consumed his body and all he could do was stand as the unbearable pain ripped through his corpse. Rubble fell from the ceiling and the earth below him shook. He could feel his hands and skin turning to ash and even though his sight was fading he could see as that ash shimmered in the light that was radiating from the gem around his neck. Spike knew that this was it, he was done for, but he had done it, he had saved her, saved the world and now maybe he could finally rest in peace. In the last moments before his entire body crumbled to dust and was left alone in the now collapsed town of Sunnydayle, Spike wondered just what would lie ahead, could this moment make a difference or were all the things that he had done, all the people that he had killed, were they too much to make up for, was he still condemned to hell? Then everything went dark.

-Elsewhere-

White, Spike opened his eyes to blinding white light, he was standing upright in a blank white room. As he looked around he noticed that there was no one else in the room. It was empty, soundless, an eerie feeling crept over Spike, he was alone in the oblivion.

Spike: "Bright light, kinda cliché ain't it… seein' as there isn't any fire or brimstone I guessing this isn't hell."

Voice: "no."

Spike whirled around at the sound of a deep voice behind him. There before him stood a tall black man wearing an expensive suit. He had broad shoulders and looked like he could squash Spike with the flick of his finger. He had appeared out of seemingly nowhere and his tough football player like appearance only made Spike want to stand up taller and act even more cocky then usual.

Spike: "ok, so not hell, that's good… where am I then?"

Man: "You're at the sorting station."

Spike: "uh huh, and just what's that then?"

Man: "This is where it will be decided where you will be spending you eternity."

Spike: "What like judgment… alright then lets get on with it already."

Spike took a few seconds taking an unneeded breath waiting for something to happen, the man in front of him was expressionless, and after a few seconds simply took one step to the right. As he moved out of the way a faded red door could be seen from behind where he had just been standing. It had simply appeared out of nowhere just as the man had before.

Man: "Through there… just wait in line, the front desk will tell you where to go next."

Spike glanced at the man who was now standing off to the side one last time and then after staring at the door for a short while he took a deep unneeded breath and with as much courage as he could gather he walked forward, and turned the doorknob. The door opened and he walked out, the door shut behind him and he didn't even look back. The room before him had a single desk and one very, very long line. It was like the line at an amusement park for the most popular ride, it just zigzagged back and forth with rows and rows of people. Most of them looked human, but it was obvious that many of them were not. Up at the font where the desk was located at there were two doors, one on either side of the desk. The one to the left was Back, and looked like it hadn't been painted in some time, the knob was rusty and the paint chipped, the door on right was newer, it was white and it's knob was shiny and silver. Spike sighed at the enormity of the line and then quickly took his place.

-Sometime Later-

Spike had moved up in the line; however his place was still quite far at the back. More people and demons had come through the door where he had and took their place in line behind Spike. Spike figured that he would be waiting in line for another hour at least. He guessed that he had been there for about two hours already, but it was hard to tell exactly, there weren't any clocks or windows, or any way to figure out just what time it was. Spike figured that it didn't really matter; it wasn't like he had someplace to be. He was dead, really dead, and at the looks of it he had an eternity to wait and stand in line.

Voice: "So, this your first time here?"

Spike turned around to face the demon who had asked him a question. The demon behind him looked less like a demon and mostly like a human. He had ears that were slightly floppy and crew cut brown hair. Spike looked the demon up and down taking in his appearance. He was wearing a business suit and would have looked very business like if not for the blood the dripped from an open wound in his chest.

Spike: "Uh, yea…I take it that it's not yours."

Demon: "No, I've been here a few times before. I was at work just before I got pulled back here."

The demon points to his chest wound as he continues his story, Spike just listens intently trying to understand more about where he is.

Demon: "…Then, the boss decided to terminate my contract, and well, here I am again…by the way my name's Zebaowendoaskenzerp…most just call me Zeb though."

Spike: "Spike."

Spike shakes the strange demon's hand still eyeing him somewhat suspiciously.

Spike: "Your boss did that… where'd you work at?"

Zeb: "Oh, uh this Law firm in LA, Wolfram and Hart, you've probably heard of us."

Spike: "Sorry, can't say I have."

Zeb: "ah, well that's too bad… So how'd you get here, if you don't mind me asking?"

Spike: "Oh, uh… Sunlight I guess, I got dusted."

Zeb: "Ah, vampire…well that explains your lack of death wounds, most of the guys who come in here…well lets just say that it's not hard to tell what happened to them."

Spike took a second to look around at the rest of the inhabitants of the room, and it was true, every demon and creature that Spike could see had some kind of bloody injury that, he guessed, had been the cause of their death.

Spike: "So exactly just what is this place, the bloke I saw before called it the…sorting station?"

Zeb: "yea…well this is where they decide where you'll be spending eternity…see those two doors up there, the white one leads to another room, after you go in there you are evaluated and they decide what happens to you…the other door, the black one, well that's your express ticket straight to hell."

Spike: "Got it…don't choose door number one."

Zeb: "Oh, it's not your choice…the receptionist will tell you where you belong, I've been sent to evaluation twice now, they've been giving me chances to fix…something that I did, I've kinda messed it up though so here I am again."

Spike was slightly worried. He had murdered thousands upon thousands of people, tortured them. He was William the Bloody; he had spent over a hundred years causing death and destruction. Could a few years of trying to redeem himself make any difference, or was he doomed to suffer in hell with his soul to feel the pain of his wrong doings?


	2. Two Doors

**Chapter 2: Two Doors**

-Waiting in Line-

Spike was finally at the head of the line, there were only a few people in front of him at the moment. He waited and watched as three of the people before him were sent straight through the black door. Only one of four people in front of him had vanished through the white door. Spike was extremely worried and honestly scared. He deserved to go to hell for all of the things that he had done, and he knew it. It was his turn now, he stepped up to the front desk and looked down at the receptionist, she was currently putting a file away in the filing cabinet at the side of her desk. She was dressed professionally, wore thick framed glasses, and had a deep red colored scarf around her neck that stood out easily seeing as she wore her dark hair up in a tight bun.

Receptionist: "name?"

Spike: "Spike."

She searched through the files that sat on her desk looking for his name. Then finally found it and pulled it open.

Receptionist: "Ah, here it is…William the Bloody… Turned in 1880, you spent some time in an alternate dimension for… Seven years, which makes you 129…you've killed…well that is quite a large number Mr. Spike, I must say usually when I see things like this the rest of the report doesn't seem very worth while, but I always read on… You've murdered two slayers, and were on the pursuit of a third when you came to Sunnydayle, We get a lot of vamps come through here from Sunnydayle… Well, I must say this is interesting, you had a behavior modification chip put in your head, kept you from killing, I must say I haven't seen anything like that before…well now, the events that follow this are _quite_ interesting, you allied your forces with the slayer, there are actually a few noble acts to be taken into account here, though not enough to save you from entering the black door."

Spike's face tightens, he knew that there was too much to save him, she was still reading the file, but none the less, Spike knew that there was too much there for him to get any kind of second chance.

Receptionist: "A soul… you have a soul, I sure didn't see that coming… I must say Mr. Spike this changes everything."

Spike: "It does?"

Receptionist: "Yes… Creatures with souls automatically get sent through the White door if it's their first time here."

Spike lets out a sigh of relief and the receptionist looks up at him.

Receptionist: "That doesn't mean that you're on your way to Heaven… You'll be evaluated further and it's very possible that you could be sent to any of the Hell dimensions… your record is… well colorful to say the least and they won't be quick to overlook the things that you've done."

Spike just nods and walks up to the white door. Slowly he turns the knob and lets the door swing open; he walks through and shuts the door behind him. He enters what appears to be a waiting room. There is another desk straight ahead of him, off to his left there are doors which presumably lead into offices, and off to his right there are chairs, some with demons already seated in them. Spike walks up to the desk; the young medium blonde, small build receptionist is playing solitaire at her computer and doesn't notice Spike walk up. She's really young, most likely still in her teens, or she would have been before she died, she's wearing a long sleeve shirt and a pair of blue jeans, the sleeves of her shirt and her jeans have been stained with blood, but the source of the blood is unseen.

Spike: "Uh, miss… excuse me."

Spike catches the attention of the young girl before him, and she immediately minimizes the game on her screen as if she was caught.

Girl: "Uh, yes…Oh, uh, what's your name?"

Spike: "Spike."

The girl smiles, then turns to her computer opens a different program and types his name in.

Girl: "Ok, then just take a seat and someone will see you shortly."

Spike: "Thanks."

Spike flashes the girl a smile and then proceeds to take a seat in one of the waiting room chairs. He looks at the other demons already seated in the room. One has green skin and holds his head in his hands, death by decapitation was what must have done him in. Another had a chest wound like the guy that had been behind him in line. A third had a sallow tint to his face and wet clothes, Spike figured that he had drowned. Choosing a seat a few spots away from the rest of the demons Spike waits.

-3 hours later-

Spike digs through his pockets searching for his smokes. He finds them only to realize that his pack is empty. A short while ago a man with an awful rash around his throat and dark hair came out of one of the offices across the room and called the drowning victim into his office and they had been in there ever since. That had been about all of the entertainment that Spike had had for hours, the room was silent and no one said a word to each other. Slowly the white door that Spike had walked through about three hours earlier opened again, and the same demon that Spike had seen standing in line behind him walked in and took a seat next to Spike after giving the young blond receptionist his name.

Zeb: "Hello again."

Spike: "you were sure out there for long, you must have had a long file for that receptionist to look through."

Zeb: "what, no…I was only there for about five minuets…Oh, right but it would have seemed longer for you, that's right."

Spike: "I take it that time moves differently in here?"

Zeb: "Yea, out there too, well at least compared to the real world…out there in line time moves about three times as fast as it would back on earth, it's a way to keep the lines shorter, demons are dieing every second of the day, most likely a couple at a time all over the world, it'd get too packed if it moved at the same time."

Spike: "Right, and in here it moves even faster, so that these evaluators or whatever don't get too swamped."

Zeb: "Right, but of course to us it all feels like time is moving normally, thus to you it felt like it had been a lot longer that I had been out there then it had been, it's Einstein's law at it's extremes."

Spike: "Right then."

Zeb: "It's a very intricate system if you look at the full mechanics of it, they separate you by human demon or half breeds, which would be where we are, and then they speed things up and sort you out further."

Spike: "yea."

Spike starts to zone Zeb out and starts to think more about what was going to happen to him after his 'evaluation session' if he ever got there that is, it seemed to him that he would literally be waiting forever. All Spike could hope for was that he was sent to a lesser hell dimension, something with mild excruciating pain compared to unbearable, excruciating pain. He knew that there was no hope for him to make it anywhere that he'd like to be, he had done far too much to ever get any kind of reward, saving the world was a noble act, but it'd never be enough. Spike's mind then starts to wander to what Buffy would be doing at that moment in time, it would have been months and months after the closing of the Hellmouth back on earth, he thought about where she'd go and what she'd do, wondered if she mourned for him, and then Spike was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of his name being called. Spike looked up to see a woman with long jet black hair and bright blue eyes, wearing a pencil skirt and very expensive looking blazer, along with some very tall high heals. She had a file folder in her hands and stood waiting patiently for Spike to stand. Once he stood she turned and he followed her into one of the offices across the room.


	3. Three Chances

**Chapter 3: Three Chances**

-Office-

Spike closed the door behind him turning around to look the woman who had called him in there up and down. She was undoubtedly attractive, he watched her as she sat down and then quickly brought his eyes up to meet hers as she looked up at him. He sat at the desk across from her.

Woman: "Mr. Spike, I'm Valerie Addison, I will be your representative, which means that I look over your case and then present my findings to the Powers that Be whom then decide where you will be spending your eternity, any questions?"

After Spike is silent for a moment Valerie picks up one of the files on her desk. There are two large stacks of files on top of her desk, and then three more piles on the floor behind her desk that are a few feet tall.

Spike: "So, all those files your work load for the day?"

Valerie: "what, oh no… all of these are yours… this is your entire life and unlife, every person you met, loved, _killed_, I need to take every detail into account if I'm going to be able to make any case that you've done something in your life that was redeemable."

Spike takes a deep breath; it was a hard concept to grasp on to that someone was going to be going through ever moment of his life and unlife. She would be reading about every person he met, loved, killed; she would read about all of his failures and embarrassing moments. But it meant something else too; she would read about all of the good things that he'd done, however in the end it would mean that she would see how uneven the scales were tipped.

Spike: "So, you're what… gonna read through each and every one of these files then?"

Valerie: "Oh, heavens no… I'm only going to look over your main file, think of it like the cliff notes version. These are just here incase I need to look something up for more information."

Spike simply nodded. Valerie opened up the main file and for the first time in Spike's life he was truly afraid.

Valerie: "Well, why don't we get started?"

-Hours later-

Valerie and Spike had been discussing Spike's past for about five hours now, they had only skimmed through his life as William, there hadn't been too much of an interest there. However when they reached Spike's killing glory days Spike actually flinched at some of the graphic descriptions of things he had done. When they finally got to Spike's Sunnydayle days he felt slightly more relaxed, and now they were summarizing.

Valerie: "Well, this is certainly going to be a tough case, you have a record like I've never seen… however there are unquestionably acts that show your strive for redemption, even long before the soul I believe that there was a part of you that wanted to be good."

Spike: "So, what does that mean e'zactly?"

Valerie: "It means that you are a good man… you may have done some indescribably horrible things in your past, but you've also done some amazing heroic and selfless things too. Your decision to die before giving up Dawn to Glory, protecting her was a truly selfless act, getting a soul to be a better man, may not have been completely selfless however it was brave and above all a completely uncharacteristic thing for a vampire to do, and of course sacrificing your life to save the world helps a little as well."

Spike: "So you're saying I might come out of this alright, m'not saying that I'll get a pass to heaven or anything but someplace tolerable at least, right?"

Valerie: "I'm not saying anything, this case could go in all sorts of directions, the majority of them not being good; what I'm saying is that you have something about you that not many demons nor people have like you do. Your ability to love even when it was thought to be impossible, you were able to give up anything and everything for love, _that_ is an incredible accomplishment; it didn't always lead to the best decisions, your love for Drusilla caused some terrible events, but your love for Buffy, for Dawn, for the people that you met along the way, even when you were evil, who were good people, the things that you did for those people, that's what makes you different."

Spike felt almost shy at hearing this woman talk of him in such a different light then he was used to. Sure, Buffy had said a few similar things to him within the past year; however no one had ever told him what she just had in such length and caring words. Some had even condemned him for his love, saying that it was unnatural; he was in awe to have that part of him complimented so.

Spike: "So, what do we do now… head off to meet with the Powers or whoever?"

Valerie: "Not quite yet."

Valerie closed the file folder and set it off to the side, Spike was now paying very close attention to every move that she made, she opened one of her desk drawers, her dark hair fell in front of her face as she reached into the drawer looking for something; after a few moments she pulled out a blue folder and set it promptly on the desk. She moved her hair out of her face just before opening the folder.

Valerie: "We could take your case straight to the Powers, and if that's what you want then that's what we'll do; I'm only your case worker I can't make your decisions for you. However what I suggest you do is what we call an _event amend_."

Spike: "And just what's that?"

Valerie: "You are able to go back into any point in time and change the outcome to complete a goal that the Powers set for you, by completing the goal it will prove that you have whatever quality that the Powers are unsure on whether you have or not."

Spike: "I can change _any_ event that I want?"

Valerie: "yes, but there is a catch, you must complete the goal that they set for you, going back just to relive a favorite memory will _not_ help you, and you only have _three_ chances. If you fail the goal that they set for you, or run out of chances to do an event amend it will count against you heavily."

Spike: "What happens when I change the future?"

Valerie: "In some cases, it dosen't change the future at all... the event amend is simply a trial to test _you_, and usually everything that you do during it is erased afterward leaving the past and future as they were when you had died."

Spike sat back in his chair and thought about what he was going to do. He could go back, he could prove that he was a better person then he had once been, he could prove that he had it in him whatever they wanted to see; or he could screw up everything. Spike knew that this would be the deciding factor in his fate, on the one hand if he did the event amend he could fail and they'd see that he wasn't 'good enough', but on the other hand if he didn't do it they'd never know if he had whatever it was that they were looking for in him. What it came down to was that if Spike had any chance of winning some kind of peaceful resting place he needed to do this, and he needed to meet his goal.

Spike: "Alright then, I guess I have to do this."

Valerie: "Are you sure? You know you could fail."

Spike: "I have to, I could fail, but if I do… If I do then I guess I don't deserve to be in _heaven_."

Valerie: "Ok, then I need you to fill this out."

Valerie pulls out a form from the blue folder on her desk and hands it to Spike. He stares at it as she finds a pen in her drawer and gives it to him.

Valerie: "It's just a simple contract saying that you agree to do the event amend and that you understand the rules fully… in the past we've sent a few people to hell dimensions who argued that they weren't told something and that had been why they had failed, don't worry though, I'm sure you'll do fine… I have a good feeling about this case."

Spike signed the paper quickly realizing that the ink he had used hadn't been ink, it was blood, and by the smell of it, it was his blood. That had sent a slight shiver down his spine, there was no turning back now, but then again Spike had not intention of turning back.

Valerie: "Alright then Mr. Spike, please follow me."

Valerie took the contract from Spike and stood up, she carried the blood signed contract with her as she exited the room and Spike followed, he looked at the demons in the waiting room and then proceeded to follow Valerie down the long corridor, there were doors on either side of him however it was clear that they were headed to the door at the end of the hall.

**AN: Thanks to all of my reviewers: funkydevil206, I know these last few chapters have just been building and building without a lot of action, but bear with me. They're setting the stage for alot more action later on, the next chapter gets a little more interesting, but if you hang in there until chapter 5 I promise it wont be boring, and there's a little bit of spuffy-ness as well; however I just want to remind you that this is more of a 'spike-centric' fic, so Buffy isn't in most of it, although she will be there in the end.**


	4. Oracle

**Chapter 4: Oracle**

-Hallway-

Valerie and Spike reach the door at the end of the hall; Valerie stops and turns to face Spike, she hands him the contract that he had signed in blood minuets earlier. It was at this point that Spike realizes that Valerie didn't intend to go through the door with him.

Valerie: "You have to go in alone, I'm not allowed… when you get to the other side you will see the Oracle, she is a direct link to the powers that be, give her your contract and she will tell you what your goal is, then you tell her where and when you want to be sent back to, choose a large event, something that would be considered time altering; it's those events that usually are the ones that allow you to complete your goal… if you have any questions feel free to ask her."

Spike just nods before turning the door knob and walking into the room. Brilliant white light blinded him and clouded his senses for a moment. He turns around to look behind him to find that the door that he had walked through was missing, all the surrounded him was an abyss of white nothingness. There was no structure, no walls no ceiling, no floor to stand upon yet he stood as if there was.

Spike: "They've really got a thing for the blinding oblivion look up here don't they?"

Voice: "Here there is no form, all creations are energy, the form which you see at the sorting station is merely an illusion, a comfort zone."

Spike whirled around to face the voice, his coat tails flapping at his legs as he turns. Before him there was what Spike assumed to be the Oracle, he had never seen one before; if he had he would sure have remembered. The vision before him was pure beauty. She wore a long white robe that tied with gold rope around the waste. Her arms were bare and glittered as did the rest of her skin in a shade of gold, and not a tanned type of gold either, her skin looked as if she had been made from the purest form of shiny, greedy, liquid gold. Her lips were blue, though an odd sight to see, they only enhanced her beauty. Her hair was long and a shiny blond gold color, it glistened and glittered with a few small streaks of blue within it to match her lips; but the most magnificent thing about her was her eyes. They were blue, but they weren't just blue, they were the most amazing shade of blue ever imaginable, they looked as if they were so deep that you could fall into them and simply get lost with the lack of intention to try and get out.

Oracle: "I am the Oracle, what is it that you wish to ask me lower being?"

Spike: "I've come because of this event amend thing…but, you seem like a smart lady and

I have a few questions first."

Oracle: "I am the oracle; I see all that has been and all that shall be."

Spike: "Right then… If I do this, and I fail, then what happens?"

Oracle: "You have three chances to complete the goal which I will set for you, each time you fail you are brought back here for another chance, should you fail all chances, or should you succeed what comes next I do not know, I can only give you choices."

Spike: "But you just said that you know all that happens, can't you just see into the future and see what happens to me?"

Oracle: "I cannot see choice, only options, there are different roads that you could follow what you choose I cannot know."

Spike just nods and takes a deep breath. It was all up to him now. He looks down at the signature on the contract in his hand, he knew that he had to do this, he'd never give up fighting, he had to try and redeem himself, what else was there to do. He handed his contract to the oracle; she looks at it then her eyes frost over and she gets an expression on her face as if she was seeing something that was mystical, something that not many had the chance of seeing.

Oracle: "You have loved and lost."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement and Spike just listened intently waiting for her to say more.

Oracle: "But can you love with loss, can you give up what you love for the greater good, to save the world, to save your self, or are you owned by your love so much that you would do anything for it, for her?"

Spike: "I don't understand, do you want me to give up what I love, or hold on to it."

Spike looked on hoping for a response, but the Oracle just went on with what she was saying as if Spike wasn't even there.

Oracle: "Your goal is to stop what should not have been done, let it come about the way that it should have. To be pulled from heaven and set back in the world before one is ready to be let back in is not the right thing to do, prevent this William and you shall be proven to have true love."

Spike: "Buffy."

Oracle: "Yes, she is the one who was pulled back too soon… and yet so close to when she would arrive again."

Spike: "I have to stop her from being brought back?"

Oracle: "The witch's spell disrupted the time line like a ripple in a pond after a stone is dropped the future was altered, your goal is to change this outcome, do you understand?"

Spike: "yes."

Oracle: "Then where do you choose to be sent back to?"

Logically Spike knew where he should go back to stop that event, but it would mean preventing everything that had happened between them, he couldn't get over the idea of taking away the few moments he had had with her. Besides Spike had no real intention of completing his goal, he wanted to go back, and he would prevent something, but it wasn't a life being brought back, it was a death, and it wasn't hers, it was his own. If he never died then he would never have ended up in this place in the first place. So in Spike's mind the easy way out was to stop his death, that would fix everything.

Spike: "Send me back to just before we went to fight the first evil."

Oracle: "Is that your decision?"

Spike: "Yes."

The next thing that Spike knew was that he felt like he was falling, no not falling, being sucked, pulled out of where he was. The room went blank as if it blew up in a cloud of smoke, his vision was hazy and his senses blurry, then everything felt heavy and dark, Spike opens his eyes and stands in the entrance of the school. It had just been built and yet Spike could see the damage that the Hellmouth had already inflicted upon it. Wood was talking to the potentials about not running in the halls and everyone looked scared, he saw her. Buffy was walking further into the school just up ahead of him and Spike grinned realizing that this could actually work.

**AN: Action is coming your way in the next chapter! Thanks to all my reviewers: Fin Mac Cool, and funkydevil206... also to answer a question about the change in tense, no that wasn't on purpose, just one of those mistakes I tend not to catch. I try and write in present tense, but when I have a fic that I take alot of breaks when writing I have a tendency to switch back and forth each time I pick it back up. Sory if it gets really annoying, I'll try and look over it more to keep it in the same tense.**


	5. First Mistake

**Chapter 5: First Mistake**

-Sunnydayle High-

Spike looked around with awe, he was truly re-living this part of his life, and this time he would live it right. He knew what was about to happen, he knew how she felt, he wouldn't let himself be compromised for love. Buffy turned around to say a few last words to the potentials, then she would tell them to follow Spike down to the Hellmouth, Spike knew this was his chance to talk to her, his last chance to tell her that he would fix it, because after this came fighting and then if he didn't play his cards just right next would come death, again. She was just about to send him off to the basement with the potentials when he approached her.

Spike: "Buffy, wait."

Buffy stops mid sentence and looks at Spike, as did everyone else, Spike hadn't meant for there to be an audience but it couldn't be helped, he had to tell her before they went into the Hellmouth. He walked up to her. Buffy looks up at Spike as he stands before her, she could tell that there were things on his mind that he wanted to say, yet all he could do was stand and stare at her. Spike decided to take a chance, he knew how she felt and decided to do something that he had been thinking about doing since he returned to Sunnydayle but never had the chance to. Without a seconds hesitation Spike kisses her, at first Buffy was shocked, she hadn't expected for him to kiss her, but she quickly responded remembering how much she had missed him. Onlookers just stare at the couple, some of the potentials giggle slightly despite the fact that they were about to go into war, Xander and Giles tried to avert their eyes yet said nothing, and Faith and Anya look on as if they are about to applaud. Slowly they pull away; a single tear falls down Buffy's face which Spike wipes away with his thumb as he looked at her.

Buffy: "We promised that we wouldn't say goodbye."

Spike: "not goodbye, kisses are hello's remember."

Buffy smiles slightly at that remembering what she had said about kissing Angel when Spike had asked her about it, it made her feel like he was ok with what had happened between her and Angel, and it made her feel better.

Spike: "Buffy, I'm gonna change things this time, I promise, we're _both_gonna make it out this time."

Buffy: "Spike…"

Spike: "Shhh, I'm gonna fix it, promise."

Spike kisses her forehead one last time and then starts to walk away but Buffy grabs his coat sleeve and he turns to face her once more, he could tell that she wanted to say something, and he knew what it was. Three words that he longed to hear, but he knew that she wasn't ready to say them yet. So he just grins slightly at her.

Spike: "don't worry pet, I know."

Spike then turns and walks down the corridor to the basement door, slowly the potentials start to follow the direction that he went in, and Buffy just watches him walk away.

-In the Hellmouth-

Spike was back to where he started, the amulet started to light up again, Spike was pushed against the wall as the power from its light flew out of him, the pain was all too familiar but so was the peace that he felt from his soul. For a moment Spike felt as if he would make the same choice that he had before, but he knew that this was his chance to change things, and if he did what he had done the last time then he would end up back in judgment and this chance would be wasted. Buffy approaches him and he remembers the words that she is about to say.

Buffy: "Spike!"

He looks at her, the light that's pouring from the amulet around his neck lights up her face and he can see every line of her face that makes out her expression, she was scared. Potentials start running out of the Hellmouth, the ground starts to shake more, there wasn't much time left. Spike could hear Faith yelling for Buffy to hurry up, then their dialogue started out just as it had the first time, however this time when she asked him to go with her out of the Hellmouth Spike did something different. Spike looked into Buffy's eyes and pulled the amulet off, the light stopped and they ran. Debris started falling from the ceiling, everything was falling, and getting sucked in. They run through the corridor of the school barely avoiding falling pieces of wood and metal. The sun is shining brightly when they get out of the school, however they had left early enough that the bus hadn't taken off yet. Spike starts to burn up but he keeps running and somehow he makes it to the bus alive. Things go by fast, Spike hides from the sun under his coat but continues to watch out the window as the bus drives off, he and Buffy are sitting in the farthest back seat having entered the back of the bus. Spike got to see what had happened to Sunnydayle, things that he hadn't seen the last time that he had had this experience. He watches the town collapse into oblivion, then the bus comes to a halt and Spike turns to look at Buffy, the sun is high in the sky so Spike is able to sit comfortably in the bus without having to worry about being hit by any direct rays.

Spike: "Told you we'd both make it."

Buffy just smiles, then their eyes meet and Spike holds on to her gaze. His plan had worked, he had escaped judgment and now he had time to spend with her. Spike leans in and kisses Buffy once again, however that was when everything went blank again.

-Elsewhere-

White, when Spike openes his eyes Buffy is gone and he was surrounded once again by the blinding white light that had accompanied him when he first was killed in the Hellmouth. The smell of her hair and the feel of burns on his skin from the sun were gone, there was only nothing-ness. His plan hadn't gone exactly how he had expected it to.

Spike: "Bugger, not this again."

Then just as before Spike turns around and sees the same tall, intimidating black man before him, a nonchalant expression upon his face with a suit and tie corporate look to go along with it.

Spike: "So what's the deal with you mate? You just sit around here and usher people through the door all day?"

Man: "This is my lesson; I did not complete what I was meant to in life so I must repay my debt here."

Spike: "Uh, right then… so what's your name? I apparently seem to keep ending up here so I suppose I should have something to call you."

The man is silent for a moment, it's then that Spike notices that he's not as well kept as Spike originally thought, while his business clothes look clean and nice there is a small drip of red at the back of his collar. If Spike's senses had been working like they did before he had died Spike assumed he would have smelled the blood, however he then realizes that he couldn't smell anything, his sense were irrelevant in this place. Spike didn't say anything however, he simply dismisses the minute detail of what could possible be blood. It's also at this time that the tall man before Spike decides to answer his question.

Man: "Michael."

Spike: "Well Michael, how come you didn't complete what you were meant to do in life?"

Spike didn't know why he was asking questions; he figured he might as well learn something about this guy seeing that he could very easily run into him again; however Michael didn't answer him, at least not with his words. Michael turns around and opens the blood red door for Spike to walk through, and that's when Spike sees it. He understood now how someone could not complete something; it's easy to leave life's tasks unaccomplished when you've killed yourself. In the back of Michaels head there was a bloody hole. It looked like he had taken a pistol to his head and just pulled the trigger as fast as he could, and now he was here serving out his punishment for all eternity.

**AN: I know, you're all sad that Spike didn't cheat the system and stay with Buffy, but he's still got two chances to get it right so don't worry. Also this story is still building up to the ending where everything will comes together, so if something dosent make sense just keep reading it will in the end. **


	6. Second Thoughts

**Chapter 6: Second Thoughts **

-Waiting Room-

Spike had waited in line again for an un-measurable amount of time staring at the demons and people around him, looking at their various wounds, seeing how they died and then thinking about how Michael had died, with all the death that Spike had seen it was still a disturbing thought to think about. He finally makes his way to the front of the line and faces the dark haired receptionist again; he stares at her features a little more this time and notices something odd about the scarf that she wore around her neck. It was red, but colored in a odd way, almost as if someone had accidentally spilled something on it. It was dark red in the center and then the color slowly faded.

Receptionist: "I see you're back again."

Spike didn't comment he was too wrapped up in her scarf to care about what she said to him. She sorts through her files, when she didn't find the one that she wanted right away she leaned over across the desk to look in another pile, and it was then that Spike realized why her scarf was so oddly colored, as she leaned over her scarf moved slightly out of place and Spike could see the cut that ran along her neck, the red color of her scarf was blood. Spike was snapped out of his morbid thoughts by the Receptionists voice.

Receptionist: "Straight through the White door, looks like you've got a few more chances to fix things, hope you have better luck next time."

Spike just nods and walks through the door. When he enters the white room he walks up to the receptionists desk once again to see the same teenage girl, this time sorting through papers, Spike remembers the blood that he had seen on her sleeves the last time he had been there and now seeing it again has a good guess of what it's from. The girl notices him as he walks up and lifts one of her hands to brush a stray medium blonde hair from her face, her sleeve falls down her wrist slightly and then Spike's theory of the reason of why her sleeves were bloody comes true, she had slit her wrists. This suicide scared Spike more then the other two, he thought of Dawn, and how sad she had been after Buffy had died, and he was just glad that he had been there for her to keep her from hurting herself.

Girl: "Mr. Spike, Mrs. Addison said to send you straight into her room if you were to show up again."

Spike: "Uh, thanks."

Spike gives the girl a nod and walks off towards the office doors.

-Valerie's Office room-

When he finds Valerie's he knocks once, when he hears her say come in he slowly opens the door, as he enters he sees her behind her desk further looking into details in his files, she didn't look too happy with him, however at the same time was able to look sympathetic.

Valerie: "Sit down Mr. Spike; we need to have a few words."

Spike did as he was told remaining silent and feeling almost like a small child receiving his punishment for eating the last of the chocolate chip cookies.

Valerie: "Let me just explain one thing to you… you cannot cheat the system, I understand perfectly what you were trying to do, and hopefully you will now realize that playing this game that way won't get you anywhere. You died Spike, you can't go back and change that, nor will you be able to change any event that would prevent your death, you'll just be pulled back here again, do you understand?"

Spike: "Yea."

Valerie: "alright then, let's get back to work."

Spike then takes that opportunity to look Valerie up and down, he wanted to see if she had caused her own death as did the rest of the workers, but he saw no indicating marks, her wrists were smooth as was her neck, and the back of her head held nothing but long dark hair. Spike didn't know why but it relieved him to think that she hadn't died that way.

Valerie: "Well, you have two chances left to make things right, lets look at your options more carefully this time so we can maybe get something right… lets start with what the oracle told you."

Spike: "eh… she said… she asked if I could give up what I loved for the greater good, umm I'm supposed to stop what should not have been done; it's supposed to prove my true love… I'm supposed to stop Buffy from dieing, or from coming back. I don't remember exactly, but something along those lines."

Valerie: "well then, that's where we'll start…"

Valerie flips through some more files looking for something specific. Spike thinks about what the Oracle had said to him and now he understood, his goal was to keep Buffy from the pain that she knew when she came back, and he knew just what event to prevent. If you want to save her from the pain of being brought back from the dead, then prevent he death. It seemed logical to him.

Valerie: "Here it is… the day she died, now I want you to think clearly about the Oracle's wording, she usually says things very specifically and it's possible the event that she wants you to change could very easily not be this one."

Spike: "No, no I think it is this one, it makes sense, I had dreams for months about how this could have gone differently… it has to be this."

Spike knew that there was another event that fit to the Oracles description of the event amend, however he liked this option better. This one meant that he would be keeping Buffy alive where as the other meant that he would be keeping her from being alive, and even though he knew that she was happy when she was gone, he knew the hurt that it had caused everyone else and it hurt him to think of a life without her.

Valerie: "Alright then, I trust that you know where the door to the Oracle is and that you can make it there on your own, I'd take you myself, however I have another client waiting."

Spike: "Yeah, m' fine."

Spike starts to walk away and gets halfway out the door when Valerie calls his name again. Spike turns to look at her.

Valerie: "Oh and Mr. Spike… think carefully this time."

With a simple nod Spike walks out and down the endless hall to the door that would lead him to the being that would take him back to one of the most horrific events in his life. He slowly reaches the door staring at one of the caseworkers that he passed; the man had a red mark around his neck it looked like an uncomfortable rash or burn. Then it occurred to Spike just what it was, rope burn. The man was another suicide victim; the cause of his death was a hanging. Spike seemed to have everything figured out, but one thing he didn't understand was why Valerie was a worker when she hadn't committed suicide. He reached the door then, and with a quick deep unneeded breath he turned the knob and walked through into the blinding white.

-Oracle's Room-

The Oracle stood before him once again in her golden glory and radiating blue eyes, this time Spike knew exactly what he needed to do and there was no small talk among the two.

The Oracle: "Back again lower being, what is your second request?"

Spike: "Take me back to when we were fighting Glory, I want to be sent back just before I ran up the tower,"

Everything went white again and the familiar falling feeling returned.

**AN: I think this chapter cleared some things up on why Spike didn't stay with Buffy in the last chapter. Remember he died so what he's doing is just a test to determin where he'll spend eternity, I hope that was clear. Also, this fic has nothing to do with Spike ending up at Wolfram and Hart. Thanks to my Reviewers: funkydevil206 and ness345, also props to ness345 for catching that clue from the Oracle.**


	7. Third Man on a Tower

**Chapter 7: Third Man on a Tower**

-Outside the Tower-

Spike heard the noises of people fighting and machinery before he was able to see the sight of the creaky tower before him; Glory's brain sucked victims and hobbit like minions swarmed about blocking the entrance to the tower. Then Spike looked up, and he saw her, Dawn was tied up above, and there was another man nearing her. This memory was crystal clear in Spike's head; he hadn't forgotten a second of it when it had happened the first time. Spike realized that he finally had a way to make his dreams come true, Spike could save her this time, save Buffy, and ultimately save himself; however his own fate didn't even enter his mind as he saw Dawn in the tower up above in the cold air. Willow's voice entered his mind, she told him to run, and Spike ran, when this had gone about the first time, Spike had ran towards the tower not knowing how he was gonna get through, he just ran; but this time he knew and just maybe he would be able to be that fraction of a second faster. He moved up the metal stairs, they screeched and many were missing, but still he ran, leaping over and pulling himself up the unstable tower, until he reached the top. Doc is standing near Dawn glaring at his pocket watch.

Doc: "Well, what do ya know; it's just about that time."

Dawn: "Spike!"

Spike: "Doesn't a fella' stay dead when you kill him?"

Doc: "look who's talking."

Spike: "Come on Doc, lets you and me have a go?"

Doc: "I… did have a prior appointment."

Spike: "This won't take long."

Doc: "No… I don't imagine it will."

Spike charges the Doc, last time he got a knife to the stomach, but this time he was expecting it and was able to miss the knife, which then fell to the floor making a clanking sound as it hit the metal. It was pushed down near the end of the tower towards Dawn, The Doc was still between Spike and Dawn, unlike how it was the first time around when they had switched positions, however Spike wasn't hurt this time so he figured he still had an advantage.

Spike: "Don't go near the girl, Doc."

Doc: "There's something different about you vampire… You have a soul, now just why would you want one of those."

For a moment Spike falters, he knows that he has a soul, the problem was that he hadn't had one when this had first happened. It made sense that he would keep it during his event amend, however he hadn't really thought about it. Then Spike saw through the holes in the metal grid that he was standing on that Buffy was starting to make her way up the tower, Spike just had to hold Doc off for a little longer and then they would be home free, unless he failed again; instantly Spike snaps out of his thoughts and concentrats on the task at hand.

Spike: "I fell in love with a lady, made a promise to her I did."

Doc: "Oh."

Doc shoots his tong out of his mouth but Spike easily avoids it, then he tries to knock Spike's feet out from under him and they wrestle for a moment, Doc tried to get a hold of Spike like he had the first time when he pushed him over the tower ledge, but this time Spike knocked him to the ground, he gave him a swift punch to the face, Doc is now lying on the edge of the side of the platform, half of his body dangling over the edge, then just as Spike was about to push Doc off the tower Doc reaches for the knife, he swings it at Spike but Spike is able to avoid it, then as Spike is about to give Doc the final kick to push him off the tower Doc takes the knife and with a stretching and twisting motion of his arm that would be impossible for any human he catches Dawn's leg and cuts her. Spike pushes Doc off the tower and he falls with great speed, but all Spike could think was that he was too late once again. He could smell the blood that threatened to spill out the small cut on Dawn's leg and quickly rushed forward to untie Dawn.

Dawn: "Spike, I was so scared."

Spike: "I know nibblet, I know, come on now, we've got to get out of here."

Buffy was racing up the tower with all the speed she could muster. She made it to the top with out even looking back, and when she got there she saw Spike, he had just finished untying Dawn and was walking with Dawn towards her; Buffy's eyes met his and a single tear rolled down her face.

Dawn: "Buffy."

Dawn leaps forward and hugs her sister; Buffy holds Dawn close burring her face in her sisters hair and then looking up at Spike and shows her deep gratitude in her eyes, he looks back at her with love and a sign of relief but there was something else in his expression, something old, as if he had done this all before but finally felt a sense of closing about it. Then her expression changed slightly as she saw a bright light radiating from where Dawn had been standing, Spike notices the change and looked back. Time seemed to move slower for a moment as Spike realized that he still hadn't been fast enough, that somehow one single drop of blood had still fallen, and he had failed. Spike looks back at Buffy with a pained expression. She saw into him as she looked into his eyes for that moment, and if she knew what she was looking at she would have realized that she was staring into his soul. Buffy pulled away from Dawn and looked at her sister realize what she was staring at, Dawn turned around and saw the portal opening behind Spike, then she looked back at her sister with fear.

Dawn: "Buffy, no."

Buffy: "Dawnie, I have to."

Spike watches Buffy's face as she talked to Dawn, and listens intently to her words, knowing what she was about to do. The portal behind him grew larger, the seams of reality started to split, the light was pulsing and growing brighter as other dimensions started to mix into theirs.

Dawn: "No!"

Buffy: "Listen to me, please, there's not a lot of time, listen, tell Giles… tell Giles I figured it out, and I'm ok. Give my love to my friends, you have to take care of them now, you have to take care of each other."

Spike notices that Buffy had set her glance on him as she said her last sentence.

Buffy: "You have to be strong, Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it… be brave, live… for me."

Dawn was crushed, Buffy turns, she is now facing Spike, he knew what she had to do, what she was about to do. He would watch her die again, and he couldn't do anything about it. He stares at her for the last time, and he saw no hatred in her eyes, no disgust, it was as if she was looking at him the way she did in the Hellmouth before he died, but this was before that happened, and yet he could still see the caring in her eyes.

Spike: "Buffy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't stop…"

Buffy: "Shhh, it's all over now. Everything's gonna be ok."

Spike: "no, it's not Buffy, you're gonna jump and you're gonna die, and I've failed you again, I've failed myself."

Buffy: "there was no more that you could have done, and you didn't fail, you protected her, she's safe… but I need you to keep protecting her. Listen to me Spike, I need you; you have to keep her safe, keep them all safe, because I can't anymore… I believe in you."

Buffy looks straight at him once more, and then she kisses him on the lips. It wasn't anything like their fiery kisses they shared during their relationship, but soft and chaste, like the kiss she had given him when she found out that he hadn't given her or Dawn away to Glory. A single tear rolled down Spike's face and then Buffy moved past him and with a running jump everything went white for Spike once again.

**AN: Props to everyone just for reviewing... lol. I know you were all hoping that Spike would save her, but if course I'm gonna keep you guessing for a few more chapters yet. Dont worry, he still has one chance left.**


	8. Focus

**Chapter 8: Focus**

-Elsewhere-

Spike was now accustomed to opening his eyes into the white oblivion. He stood silent until Michael the doorman appeared, he wondered once again of his fate, maybe he was supposed to spend his eternity in hell, well honestly he thought that he did, however he had had a sliver of hope that he had accomplished something in the time that he had turned his life around to get something better. Being returned this time was a blow to his thought process, before he had been brought back for trying to cheat the system, Spike understood it and wasn't too bothered by it, besides the fact that it hadn't worked; but this time, he had tried, he had put everything into what he was doing and he failed, again. Then to top it all off he only had one chance left to complete the Oracle's request, and if her fails again, it's all over.

Spike: "So Michael, tell me… what ever happened to you to make you blow your bloody brains out."

Michael: "I gave up, I gave up on living, and now I'm paying for it."

Some of the things that Buffy had said to Dawn on the tower came back to Spike. Be strong, live, those weren't just words to make Dawn feel better about what Buffy knew she had to do; Buffy knew something about life that escaped a lot of people, it's not about how long you live its about what you do to live, how you fight the odds, how you stay strong, those were the things that measured your personality, it was the way you lived your life. It made sense just at the right time, right when Spike was thinking on giving up hope for a better eternity, he realized that while he's dead now he's still living, even if it's not on the mortal plane anymore, he still had to be strong, he still had to fight, and he knew more then ever now that he couldn't give up, despite the discouragement of his last adventure it wasn't over yet, he still had one chance yet, and he was gonna do it this time.

-Valerie's office-

Spike walks through the door of the small office once again, he had waited in line just as he had the two times before, however the difference this time was what he did with his time out there; Spike had been thinking, carefully planning his next and final choice. He knew that he had to go back to the night when they brought her back, and he had to prevent it. Spike knew that he had to do it, but it hurt him to think of what he was preventing; everything they had shared together came after that point in time, and in a sense he was erasing all of it, but he had to.

Valerie: "Mr. Spike, I see you're back, and I would like to comment on your bravery in your last event amend… I just wanted to tell you that although it didn't go as you had planned your effort has been noticed, and I've been told to tell you that this was an event that could not be changed."

Spike: "What do you mean couldn't be changed, I thought that's what this whole thing was about, if some events can't be changed then what's the bloody point!"

Valerie: "Spike, sit down, I didn't know this was one of those events until after wards… you see there are some things that happen that are meant to happen, and no matter what you do to try and fix them you will always end up with the same result…they are the moments that set certain important chains of events in motion that if they didn't happen your destiny could not be completed… I'm simply telling you this because after reading your file I've come to realize just how you had taken the Slayer's death so personal... Now please have a seat and we can discuss what we do next."

Spike sits; in a way it was a relief to hear that he couldn't have done anything different to change that event; but he still wished that he could, and then he thought about how he should have chosen a different event to amend; now he was two events down and only one left. Spike's mind wanders for moment, he starts to think about Valerie, why was she different, she didn't have any sign on here of suicide, not slash marks on her wrists or neck, no bullet wounds or rope burn; yet here she was like all the rest, working.

Spike: "so, what's the deal with you... you're not like the rest of the workers here."

Valerie: "How so?"

Spike: "The others, they all have marks, slashed wrists, bullet wounds... suicide... but not you, why is that."

Valerie: "hmm... I guess, there're other ways of giving up... how about this, if you tell me about what you plan to do with your last event amend maybe I'll share."

Spike: "Alright then... well, the next place I plan to go, the last place, is exactly one hundred and forty six days after... after she died."

Valerie: "The night they brought her back."

Spike: "Yea... The oracle said I had to stop what shouldn't have been done, what the scoobies did bringin' her back... it was against the laws of nature, of everything."

Valerie: "You knew that before though didn't you?"

Spike: "What, before I set of to stop her from dieing in my last event amend... yea, I did, but I was hoping I could get around it. I'd rather save her from dieing then keep her from being alive... but this is what I have to do."

Valerie: "well, now that you've finally decided not to cheat the system, I must say I think this is right."

Spike: "So... now for your part of the deal... just why are you here?"

Valerie is quiet for a moment, she sits back in her chair and prepares to tell her story, Spike sits up straighter realizing that what she was about to say was something that was emotional for her, after all she was about to tell him how she died.

Valerie: "could you tell that I'm a mother of three kids? No, most wouldn't think so... I, uh, I was married to a man who was abusive, he was killing me... not in the holding a gun to my head kind of way, in a slow way. Everyday he was killing me, with his words and the fights. And the worst part was that he'd yell at the kids... every time I saw them cry another part of me died, I didn't kill myself, not really, I was mostly dead by the time I ended my life... Robert came home one night, the kids were away at their grandmothers house, he was drunk again, and he started in on me, calling me names, trying to start a fight... Then he slammed me against the wall and I ran to the kitchen, there was a gun atop the fridge and I grabbed it, I pointed it at him and he just told me that I wouldn't do it, and then he took another step closer and I pulled the trigger... I killed him... After that I was a mess, I wondered just how my life had gotten so messed up, I wondered where I had gone wrong... then I went upstairs and opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of medicine and took everything that was in the bottle and... Just went to sleep."

Spike sat still for a moment not knowing what to say, the story she had told him was nothing he had ever heard before, at least from her perspective. He had killed people and caused pain, and felt pain, physical as well as emotional, but the mental torture she had gone through and lived with was something Spike couldn't quite imagine. Honestly he didn't know just what to say.

Spike: "I'm sorry."

Valerie: "Don't be... I miss my children, yea, but I put myself here, and it's not that bad, it's easier then living... and I wont be here forever, we all move on eventually."

Spike: "Then where will you go? After this?"

Valerie: "I don't know, heaven, hell, back to earth... I will have to be put in front of the powers just as you will."

Spike: "back to earth?"

Valerie: "Yea... sometimes people return to their lives to continue living from where they left off, or in some cases event amends change things and they want to go back and continue living from that point in time, however you don't have to return, and not everyone is able to. Like I said everything is up to the powers."

Spike: "Like a second chance at life."

Valerie: "kinda... it's hard to explain... but now we've gotten far enough off track, lets get back to business shall we."

Spike: "Alright then, Last chance... here it goes."

Valerie: "Are you ready?"

Spike: "As ready as I'll ever be... I just hope I'll get it right this time."

Valerie: "Just do what you can... that's all that matters."

Spike nods then gets up and walks out and starts to walk down the hall towards the Oracle one final time. This was it, his last chance, he had regained some of his focus and realized what he had to do, the right thing to do. Buffy was never meant to be brought back, and as much as it hurt Spike to think of her dead he knew that she was in a better place, besides none of it really mattered anyway, when he fixed things he would be brought back and it would be as if it had never happened, that was something that Spike had forgotten about. He looked at each event he was trying to change as if it would change his past, but it didn't really matter. So he walked ready to finish what he had started, he wouldn't give up.

**AN: Thanks to my reviewers: wicked-angel-413, funkydevil206, and KeepTheFaith, you guys are awesome. Next chapter coming soon, I'll probably post it tuesday or wednesday of next week. Wow, this is coming to a close really fast, there's only about four chapters left. Oh, and if anyone has read my first fic "To Find Oneself" I've been working on the sequil and am about half way through it, so hopefully my muse wont abandon me and I'll have that up soon.**


	9. One Last Chance

**Chapter 9: One Last Chance**

-Summer's house-

Spike opens his eyes, the feeling of vertigo fading and he realizes that he is sitting, slumped on the Summer's couch. It's dark outside, and the living room has a warm glow to it being lit by the lamps on the side tables, Dawn walks in talking about school, she's wearing her pajamas, plaid sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt with the number 07 on it, Spike's leather jacket is hanging on the hook and his hair is frazzled. Dawn sits down next to him and he lookes at her, she has a look on her face as if expecting him to say something, respond to her statement, however Spike hadn't been paying attention this time around. The thought entered his mind that he had to get to the graveyard, they would be starting the ritual soon and he couldn't be late. Spike startles Dawn as he jumps up from the couch and walks over by the door to put his coat on.

Dawn: "Spike, what's wrong?"

Spike: "Come on platelet, we've gotta go."

Dawn gets up from the couch and looks at Spike questioningly, Spike looks her up and down and realizes that she's going to be cold in what she's wearing. He really wanted to just leave her at home, however he knew that soon a biker demon gang would be tearing through Sunnydayle and he had to keep her safe.

Spike: "Go change, put something warmer on, we've got to get to the cemetery."

Dawn: "What? Why? Spike, what's going on?"

Spike: "No time to explain, quick now go change, or it's gonna be too late."

Dawn takes another second to try and read Spike's expression and then turns and runs up the stairs. Spike waits for her fidgeting with his cigarettes and lighter, finally deciding not to smoke and just puts them back in his pocket. He looks around the room, it had been a while since he had been there, it felt odd almost to be there. It seemed so quiet, there weren't any potentials busying about or demons bursting in, just calm. Dawn walked back down the stairs; she was wearing black pants and a red turtle neck sweater.

Spike: "Alright, come on, we've got to go now."

Dawn: "No... not until you tell me where we're going."

Spike: "I already told you, we're going to the cemetery, now come on."

Dawn: "Spike, wait... why, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why."

Spike stopped, he should have known that Dawn was going to ask questions, and he couldn't give her any answers.

Spike: "Dawn, I don't have time to explain, you just have to trust me on this one... now I have to go do something, and I can't leave you here cause it isn't gonna be safe here... now, can we go?"

Dawn didn't object, she simply followed him. When Spike got outside he looked around for his bike, then after realizing that it wasn't in the driveway he remembered that he didn't have it yet. He grabbed Dawn and pulled her down the street; he found a car and broke in simply by pulling on the door hard enough. Dawn was a little frightened by all the sudden action, however she complied and got into the passenger side of the car as Spike hot wired it; then they drove off towards the cemetery, towards Buffy's grave.

-Buffy's Grave-

The Scoobies were sitting in a circle around her grave, Anya had just gotten her candle lit and they started the ritual. The moon shone bright lighting up everyone's face along with the candles they held. The wind blew through the leaves and Willow sat stone faced prepared to do what she thought was right; she was so far gone in the mindset that she needed to save Buffy, thinking so strongly that she was in a hell dimension that she didn't even consider the alternative, the possibility that she was in heaven.

-Graveyard parking lot-

Spike stops the car not even having paid attention to the parking space lines. He quickly jumps from the car and Dawn gets out as well, she knew where she was, however she wondered why she was there. Spike had been quiet the entire drive, Dawn knew that something was seriously wrong, but she didn't know what to say.

Spike: "Come on Nibblet."

Dawn: "Spike..."

Spike: "Like I said, no time to explain... you'll see."

He grabs her hand and starts to drag her past broken graves, they walk fast. Spike's destination was locked in, he took the shortest path possible, walking over graves and into the dark woods, far into the woods where there weren't any graves; well none but one. Dawn kept up the best she could but nearly tripped a few times, she knew where they were going, and honestly she was scared, she trusted Spike, yes, but she didn't know what was going on. Then it started to make sense, they walked into the clearing and Dawn saw her sister's grave, and all of her friends sitting around it. They were trying to bring her back, Dawn knew that's what they were trying to do, it was a familiar thing to her since she had tried to bring her mom back the year before; but it hadn't worked, she wouldn't have been the same. All Dawn could think was, how could they be doing that if they knew how wrong it was.

Dawn: "What are you doing?"

Everyone turns to look at Dawn, the ritual stops for a moment, they realize they are caught. Spike looks at them all with disgust in his expression and some of them actually looked ashamed, but not Willow. He takes a moment to take in what he was seeing, then he sees the urn, the urn of Osirus. He reaches forward and picks it up and immediately Willow tries to stop him, he holds it up about to smash it but Willow stands up, then slowly so do the rest of them.

Willow: "NO! Spike, stop you don't know what you're doing."

Spike: "Don't know what I'm doing... Do you know what you're doing?"

Willow: "Yes."

Xander: "Spike, just go take Dawn home."

Spike: "You don't even know do you... you have no idea of what this is going to cause."

Dawn: "What _are_ you doing?"

Anya: "We're going to bring her back."

Dawn: "How could you, you know she won't be the same, you know this won't work..."

Tara: "Dawnie, it's different this time."

Willow: "Buffy died a mystical death! She's not supposed to be dead, I can do this."

Spike: "Oh, I damn well know you can... and that's why I'm stopping you."

Spike threw the urn and it smashed into thousands of small pieces and dust as it hit a rock, Willow yelled, and tried to save it but she couldn't. The rest of the scoobies looked on with astonishment realizing that they wouldn't be able to bring her back that was it. Willow started to tear up with rage, Buffy was really dead, and she couldn't do a thing about it. Xander walked over to stand by his best friend seeing the hurt in her eyes, every word she spoke was filled with anguish.

Willow: "How could you! We could have brought her back! I... I..."

Xander: "Willow... it's ok, we can fix it... we can find another one."

Willow: "No, we can't that's it, it's the only one... Oh God, she's really gone."

Anya: "Spike, why did you do that?"

Spike: "Because you were making a big mistake... I bet you all thought you were saving her, you're all so selfish!"

Xander: "Selfish, Buffy's dead..."

Spike: "Exactly, and you were going to pull her back from where she was because _you_ missed her, because _you_ wanted her back, you didn't even give a seconds thought to what she wanted!"

Anya: "Well I _don't_ think she wants to be in a hell dimension, that's for sure."

Spike: "A Hell Dimension! That's where you think she was... You really don't use your brains do you!"

Xander: "Where else would she be?"

Spike: "Try Heaven... what you think someone as good as her would get sent to the fiery pits below, I don't bloody think so! She died to save all your lives and this is how you repay her, by pulling her out of there, by disturbing her peace. She was finally done with all of it and you were about to pull her back into it."

Tara: "I... I never... I didn't think about it that way."

Spike: "Damn right you..."

Before Spike could finish a loud noise of a motorcycle was heard and a biker demon roared through where they were standing. Everyone was rattled and ran off in different directions, Spike grabs Dawn's hand and just runs, Xander and Willow take off in one direction and Anya and Tara keet by each other as they escaped demon.

**AN: Thanks once again to all my reviewers: ness345, wicked-angel-413, Carol, and funkydevil206... yes Spike did stop Buffy from coming back, but dont worry its not over yet. I just got 1000 views on this fic as of last chapter, very cool, and I'll have more posted soon.**


	10. Two Roads to Take

**Chapter 10: Two Roads to Take**

-The Graveyard Woods-

They had been running through the woods for what had seemed like forever. Hiding until the demons left, they were all split up into three groups, separated, not knowing what had happened to the others. However they all knew where they should meet, Spike had gotten Dawn out of the graveyard as fast as he could, however they had gotten lost a few times when going strange directions to avoid the demons, however when they went to get into the car they had driven in they realized that it had been torched, it sat in the parking lot on fire, the metal and leather seats burning, causing an awful smell. They could hear the loud noise of motorcycles roaring in the background and took off in the direction of the magic box, when they got out into the open street Spike realized that they needed some wheels or they'd never make it there all the way unharmed. He could hear a single demon biker on his was down the road and told Dawn to where she was as he went to stand in the middle of the street. As the biker came rolling down the road, Spike knocked him off, and his bike went skittering along the road. He called Dawn over and they drove to the magic box.

-Magic Box-

Spike pulls the bike up out in front of the magic box to find that it luckily hadn't been raided, yet. He grabs Dawn's hand and pulls her into the shop to find a very scared Anya holding a baseball bat about to hit Spike, he flinches for a moment but then Anya realizes who he is and puts the bat down. Tara is also sitting at the table.

Anya: "Oh… it's you… have you seen Xander?"

Spike: "uh, sorry no… How'd the both of you get here so soon?"

Tara: "I used a locator spell t-to guide us out of the woods."

Dawn: "Are we going to be safe in here?"

Spike: "Yea… yea we'll be fine nibblet… go sit down."

Dawn sits down at the round table where Tara is sitting, Anya is standing by the counter and Spike is currently looking out the window at the destruction outside. He watches as demons roar down the street, buildings were set on fire and shops were being broken into, and Spike wondered how long it would be until they tried to break into the magic box. Then he sees what he had been hoping not to, two demons approach the shop, one held a large piece of wood which looked to have nails in it. They point to Spike's motorcycle which was parked outside the shop, then the one demon picks up a rock and throws it at the window, it hits and causes the window to crack, however it dosen't break in. There is an audible gasp of shock from everyone in the magic box.

Anya: "Hey!"

Spike: "Anya, I don't think it's a good idea to yell at the demons and let them know that we're all in here.'

Dawn: "Spike, what are we gonna do?"

Spike looks at Dawn and then at everyone in the room, he thinks back to what Buffy had said to him at top the tower in his last event amend, he thinks about what she said to him just before they had gone to fight Glory, when she had re-invited him into the house. She had trusted him, relied on him to protect her friends.

Spike: "You all wait here… m' gonna go get rid of these blokes."

Spike walks out the door of the magic box and into the night, the demons before him approach and Spike puts on his best performance to persuade them to leave, with a turn of his head he vamps out, while inside the magic box Dawn had run to the window to see what would happen.

Spike: "This shop's been picked clean like the rest of em… I must say when you lot start something you really try to finish it."

Demon: "And just who are you."

Spike: "The name's Spike."

Demon: "Well, Spike… This is _our_ town now, and there isn't going to be any room for low life vamps, so either get out of our way."

Demon2: "Or, well make you get out of our way."

Spike: "I'm not going anywhere."

Demon: "Then I guess we'll have to…"

Spike throws the first punch knocking the demon off guard, however soon it is a full on fight, Spike held his ground well, however it was two against one and they were good fighters. Any other vamp would have been dead already, it was a full on fist fight back and forth, until the demon who had been holding his two by four with nails in it decided to put it to use, he hit Spike hard over the head and the vamp fell to the ground lying on his back, the pain in his head making his vision blurred, then he saw the two demons above him and a two by four aimed at his heart.

Demon2: "Like I said, we'll make you get out of our way."

The demon lifts the makeshift stake and is about to plunge it into Spike's heart when everything goes white. He had almost forgotten that he wasn't in reality; it was only an event amend, not really the past, but simply a chance to prove something. He was already dead.

-Elsewhere-

Spike awakes to blinding white lights once again, however when he looks around he realizes that he is somewhere that he didn't recognize, this wasn't the sorting station. Spike twirls around trying to see something that would explaine where he was, but he sees nothing, nothing at all. It was brighter then usual, and it was complete oblivion, for a second Spike wondered if he had gotten stuck in between where he was and where he was going, but then he heard a voice, he whirled around once more trying to find someone to match the voice, but again he saw nothing and no one.

Voice: "Spike…William"  
Spike: "Who's there?"

Voice: "This is the voice of the powers"

Spike: "Ah, so this is judgment then… well, at least show yourself."

Voice: "We have no form, no body, or shape… we have decided on your fate William."

Spike: "So soon, I kinda thought this would be more trial like, what with Valerie defending me and all."

Voice: "She has already presented your case… In what seemed like a few seconds for you to arrive here there were hours for Valerie to tell us her understanding of your case… as the powers we see all, we know all, but we cannot judge a persons character at this moment in time, we can understand character, and emotions of the past but exactly where a person in currently needs to be proven… We have seen your past, the total destruction you caused, the lives you took, the pain you caused. You took without remorse and your selfish actions would be enough to send anyone to _hell_ as you would say, ten times over; however, Your case worker, Valerie has explained that she thinks that you've grown, she believes that you are capable of sacrifice and love… also from what we have seen from your event amend we believe that you are capable of giving up what you have to do what's right for another, and that you have the ability to see what is right even when it conflicts with what you want."

Spike is quiet not knowing what to say or what that means.

Spike: "So what does that all mean?"

Voice: "We are going to give you two choices."

**AN: Final two chapters on their way, thanks again to all my reviewers: funkydevil206 and wicked-angel-413. Hope everyone liked this chapter, I know I leave you hanging a little bit, but I'll update soon I promise.**


	11. Three Scoobies to the Rescue

**Chapter 11: Three Scoobies to the Rescue**

-Elsewhere-

Spike had a choice to make, he waited for the voice of powers to tell him just what his options were, he stared off into the emptiness waiting for the formless being to tell him what would happen next. He was relieved that this was finally all over, however worried at just what his choices would be.

Voice: "In your last event amend you were pulled back just before you were killed, we have chosen to make your event amends real, in some cases they are erased however in your case they have become your history, they have really happened in the timeline of events, do you understand that?"  
Spike: "So when I was on the tower with Buffy, and when I stopped Buffy from coming back… that really happened?"

Voice: "Yes, all else that you remember is false."

Spike: "So everything that would have happened if things had gone the way they had before, everything that would have happened if Buffy had been brought back has been erased."

Voice: "Correct… In the moment of time when you were pulled back here there are two things that can happen, that demon can stake you and kill you and you will be allowed through the gates of heaven, or it can be avoided and you can be returned to that point in time."

Spike thinks for a moment, he could go back; but he couldn't go back to Buffy. He had stopped her from returning and if he were to go back he would have to live without her. Then Spike thinks about his promise, he had sworn to keep Dawn safe, if he had stopped Buffy from coming back and then that event that he had changed was permanent, what would happen to Dawn? There would be no one there to protect her or any of the scoobies, she was in the magic shop with Tara and Anya, would they be able to get her out of there or would they all die. Spike didn't doubt that Dawn would end up in heaven if she did die, but she was so young, there was so much more life that she had to live. Then another thought pops into his head, Doc had smelled a soul on him when he was on the tower, would he keep his soul. He knew he wanted to.

Spike: "What about my soul?"  
Voice: "You've fought for that, you may keep it if you return, with the soul you are the man that deserves this reward, and we cannot remove it."

Spike continues to think, if he died and went to heaven Buffy would be there, she was after all dead. They could be together in heaven; but it didn't seem the same, and it didn't seem right to take the easy way out when he had the chance to live. Spike knew what he had to do.

Spike: "I want to go back… I have to keep on living, she told me once that I needed to live, she wanted us to live for her… and I need to do that, I made a promise to protect her sis, so that's what I need to do."

The Voice didn't say anymore, Spike's vision went blank again for the final time.

-Outside the Magicbox-

Reality comes rushing back to Spike quickly, he is lying on the cold, hard ground, his head hurt and there was a two by four inches from his heart. Then just as it is about to dust him the demon holding the weapon was knocked to the ground, Spike looks up to see Xander holding a long metal pole. Xander had seen Spike and stopped the demon just before he could kill him. Spike thought about the irony in Xander being the one to save him, then he noticed Willow holding the other demon with a magic force field. Dawn who was watching from the Magicbox came running out and hugs Spike when he gets to his feet, then she went and stood by Xander and Spike just looks at the three of them. Dawn, Xander and Willow, they were why he was there, to protect them. Spike then takes the metal rod from Xander and killed the demon that Willow was holding in place by ramming the rod through its head, it made a crunching sound and the demon fell to the ground. Without a word the four of them walk into the Magicbox.

-Inside the Magicbox-

Anya and Tara rush at Xander and Willow as they walk in, obviously glad to see them. Dawn sits back down at the table and Spike sits next to her. The room for the moment is quiet and still, it looks completely unharmed except for the cracked front window, but other then that it everything was in order. There are papers sitting on the counter top from inventory, and a new box of crystals sat by the door. Slowly the rest of the scoobies made their way over to the table Willow and Tara sat seeing as Willow was tired, but Xander just stood with Anya holding her arm through his.

Tara: "S-so, what do we do now?"

Spike: "I don't know, but we shouldn't stay here."

Xander: "We could fight our way out."

Anya: "Fight? I don't think so, I mean sure we could take a few of them out, but lets be serious we need a slayer… we need Buffy."

Dawn: "What about the Buffy-bot?"

Spike: "They destroyed it… I mean, they must've figured that Buffy was dead or why else would they come here."

Willow: "Spike has a point… they wouldn't be here if they didn't think that Sunnydayle was vulnerable."  
Anya: "Which means that they're probably planning on staying, so waiting them out isn't going to work."

Spike: "One of the demons from before said that this was _their_ town… so I'm thinking Anya's right on that one."

Willow: "We could have Buffy right now, if you hadn't…"

Spike: "Don't start with me Red, you know what you were doing was wrong, and you also knew that there was a chance with that spell that she might not come back right, So don't give me the whole spiel on how we could have her back now, cause what we could have is a super-strong zombie to deal with and honestly I think that'd make it worse."

Xander: "Wait, Zombie, that was a possibility?"

Willow: "There are always chances that… but that wouldn't have happened, I…"

Dawn: "Stop! I don't want to hear anymore about my sister, she's dead and that's how it's supposed to be… right now we need to worry about how we're going to get out of here."

Spike: "The bit's right, we've got to figure something out."

Xander: "I think I have an idea."

-Outside Sunnydayle-

The town is on fire, it was like hell on earth, bright flames contrasting in the dark. There is a group of biker demons huddled around a burning pile of some destructed house, they looked to be celebrating their victory with many bottles of various kinds of alcohol which are occasionally being smashed or thrown into the fire making small explosions. Spike spotted the leader and walks forward towards him, Spike walked alone and carried only two things, a sword in one hand and the severed head of one of the demons in the other.

Spike: "Hey! Big and ugly, I think I have something that belongs to you."

Spike was fairly close to the group of demons now and threw the head at them, it rolled at the leader's feet and then he took a step forward, the demon was obviously mad and he got right up into Spike's face.

Demon: "You think you can scare me vampire, I could crush you… now I suggest that you get out of my town!"

Spike: "Now you see that's where we have a problem… this is _my _town, and if anyone of your cronies here try to do anything about it they're gonna end up like your friend there."

The demon just laughs and reaches forward, he grabs Spike around the neck and lifts him off the ground, but Spike isn't scared. They had just fallen straight into his trap, if only Xander would hurry up with his part or Spike might end up entering the pearly gates after all. The demon squeezed harder which made Spike a little uncomfortable, but he hadn't killed him yet so this could all still go well.

**AN: Thanks once again to my reviewers: funkydevil206, and wicked-angel-413. There's only one chapter left, I hope everyone stays tuned in for the ending. Also, to answer a question... yea I know Spike probably could've taken out those demons alot easier, but I needed to have a life or death situation and this worked.**


	12. Buffy

**Chapter 12: Buffy**

The demon held Spike by the neck lifting him up, Spike wanted to get in an all out brawl with the demon, he knew he could take him, one demon was no problem, two, well he could probably take two but he was surrounded by a whole gang and while Spike liked to play against the odds he knew that they had a plan to follow. Then the demon blew apart as the demon was blown away by a rocket launcher, Spike took a minuet to regain his composure then stood back up to see Xander walking his way with the rocket launcher in hand, Willow was right behind him. Soon Willow and Xander were standing next to him. Sure a rocket launcher was a bit overkill, but it was definatly intimidating.

Spike: "Cutting it a little close there, don't you think?"

Xander: "What… you're not dead are you… well, I mean you are but…"

Willow: "Guys, remember the big scary demons?"

Spike: "Oh, right."

They all regain focus and look on at the rest of the demons who are currently staring at them.

Spike: "See that, we've killed your leader, and two other demons earlier, you're three men down… Now, are you going to leave _our_ town?"

One demon steps forward, however the rest remain frozen in place not sure what to do. The demon picks up a piece of debris and walks within five feet of the three of them when Willow uses her magic to make what he was holding fly out of his hand and Xander aims the rocket launcher. The demon turns and runs as do the rest of them, they quickly get on their bikes and ride away as fast as possible.

Xander: "Guess they didn't know it was empty."

Spike: "Guess not."

Spike is the first to turn and leave and walk in the direction of the Summer's house where Dawn, Anya, and Tara are waiting. He thinks about everything that he's been through to bring him back to this point, and then he's pulled back into the depression he felt those three months when Buffy had been dead. Spike knew now that there was nothing that he could have done to prevent her death, but he could also remember everything that would have happened between them if she had come back, and that with the fact that he now had a soul to bear this pain with; it hurt more then ever.

-Summer's home-

Spike walks through the front door, then Xander and Willow walk in behind him, the rest of the gang is there as well, and they make their way one after another into the kitchen.

Spike: "Dawn, you hurry on up to bed now, ok."

Dawn does as he asks and Spike finds himself walking into the kitchen after the rest of the scoobies, they turn on a light, Willow and Tara sit at the counter and Xander and Anya stand behind it. Spike stands hovering in the doorway. Xander is looking down at his feet when Spike walks into the room and it appears to him as if they have something they want to tell him. Anya pokes Xander in the side and he finally looks up at the vamp.

Xander: "Uh… Spike we wanted to…"

Spike: "Save it…"

Xander: "No, we… we wanted to th- we wanted to tha-"

Anya: "Oh, for heavens sake, we wanted to thank you… for stopping us, we realized that bringing Buffy back would have been wrong and possibly catastrophic and yadda yadda yadda, so we're thanking you. "

Tara: "You were right… w-we had no right to mess with the natural order of things, even if… we thought we found a loophole, but we still shouldn't have."

Willow: "You really think she's in heaven."

Spike: "I know it."

Willow just nods then, Spike understands the silent gesture and the loyalty she had to her friend, Spike looks at all of them; none of them really hated him, he knew that it was mostly just an act. It was something they said to fall back on incase he ever stepped out of line, but in reality he knew that he could count on them. Then they were are all startled by a bright light that filtered in to the room, it was as if someone had turned on the sun in the middle of the living room and its rays flowed into the rest of the house, but only for a moment, in a flash the light was gone, but they had all seen it. After a moment of blinking they all slowly got up and started to walk towards the source, the living room. When they got to the edge of the stairs Dawn came rushing down.

Dawn: "What was that?"

Spike: "Dunno' But, m' gonna find out."

Dawn gets behind Spike and he proceeds to walk into the living room. When Spike moves the door out of the way and takes his first step into the room what he sees is an angel. It's Buffy, and she's glowing in bright white light, she hovers a few inches from the ground, and Spike just stares at her with amazement.

Spike: "Buffy."

She smiles at him, and everyone behind him is speechless, the lights around her dim slightly as she lowers to the ground, then as her feet touch the floor the glowing stops all together and she is corporeal. She walks forward to Spike and looks at him looking her over with every emotion on his sleeve. She touches his face and gives him a small kiss on the lips, whispers thank you then backs away to stare at everyone.

Dawn: "Are you real?"

Buffy: "Yes, Dawnie… it's really me."

Dawn rushes forward past Spike and hugs her sister; a few tears roll down both of their faces, and soon everyone in the room has tears in their eyes. It seems so surreal to see her standing in front of them, but they accept it, and amazement fills their senses along with question.

Dawn: "Are you going to go away again?"

Buffy: "no… I'm here to stay; I promise I'm not going anywhere."

Willow: "How?"

Buffy: "It's a long story, I'm supposed to be here, but it's good that Spike stopped you from bringing me back that would have been too soon."

Xander: "You were in heaven."

Buffy: "Yea… but now I'm here."

Anya: "Do you want anything."

Xander: "Yes, Pizza, Buffy likes pizza I'll get Buffy pizza."

Buffy: "Guys, I'm alright I promise, I know it's all confusing, and I promise I'll answer all your questions soon… but I am kinda tired, can we all talk in the morning?"

Xander: "Yea, of course Buffster, we'll be here bright and early tomorrow."

Buffy: "Good."

Xander walks forward and gives Buffy a hug he whispers 'I'm so glad you're back' then Anya does the same and they leave, eventhough Xander wanted to stay and make up for lost time, he just knew that she was alright and this peaceful feeling allowed him to leave without a second thought. As the front door shuts quietly Willow and Tara also step forward for a hug and then retire upstairs, the same peaceful understanding taking over them; Dawn and Spike are still standing in the living room.

Buffy: "Dawn, why don't you head up to bed as well… I have to talk with Spike for a moment."

Dawn: "I wanna stay up with you."

Buffy: "Dawn, please."

Dawn reluctantly gives Buffy one final hug and then vanishes up the stairs, Buffy looks back at Spike, then she turns and walks over to the chairs and sits in one, Spike walks over and sits in the one across from her. Their positions are familiar to both of them, it's where they sat when Buffy had first come back, Spike reaches out and takes Buffy's hand and they just sit for a moment.

Buffy: "I remember, Spike… I remember everything just like you do."

Spike looks up at her and deep into her eyes, they are quiet for a moment just thinking about everything that happened and where they were. The soft lights from the lamp light up their faces and everything seems calm and peaceful.

Buffy: "It's weird, like I have two sets of memories, one in which I crawl out of the grave and then another which is now, or different scenarios from when I died, and when you died… but then here I am. It's a little wiggy."

Spike: "Just why are you here?"

Buffy: "I was supposed to come back all along, just not the way I had before."

Spike: "So what happens now?"

Buffy: "We just go on living, it's kinda like a second chance, we can fix how messed up everything was before… I want to thank you, for the choices you made, for stopping my friends, for trying to save me, and for protecting Dawn, it means a lot to me."

Spike: "So are we the only ones who remember everything, what's to come an' all that?"

Buffy: "Yea, but our other memories are gonna fade a little, they'll always be there, just not as clear, it's to keep us from getting too confused… but Spike, the feelings, they're still there… I love you."

Spike just smiled.

THE END

**AN: Well that was it, I hope everyone liked the ending. Thanks to all my reviewers: Wicked-Angel-413. Please continue to review, they're always fun to read, especially when I dont have a fic that I'm working on.**


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